Forever
by Cikaria
Summary: It doesn't last half as long as people think it does. Modern!AU.
1. Chapter 1

The park was serene, the grass was green, the sun was shining, something was most definitely wrong, everything was too _perfect_.

"Hikari."

"Sasuke," I smiled widely, turning around and hugging him tightly. "What's up?"

I suppose, now, looking back on it, I should have seen it coming.

He was cold and distant, but I was too blinded by my love for him to care.

"I- Can we talk?"

"We're talking right now," I chirped, thinking he was just missing me because it had been a while since I had last seen him, but, to my own credit, he had done this before. "Aww, is Sasu-cakes missing me so much he had to come over and see me?" I giggled. "You're adorable."

"No, I mean, _talk_ talk, like, we _need_ to talk, I have to tell you something."

"Oh," I was unfazed, maybe a bit more happy. "Of course."

I remember thinking he was going to ask me to move in with him, we had been staying at each other's apartments for a while and we had been together for _years_ so the only thought that came to mind was that, and from his slight anxiety, it only confirmed my thoughts, my heart was beating a mile a minute and I was so happy I couldn't even think straight.

It was also our sixth year anniversary, so it was the only _natural_ thing to do.

"I've been thinking about us for a long, long time," he began. "And, I've decided that..."

I was on Cloud fucking 9, birds were chirping, the sun was shining down on me, my life was heaven.

"We're not working out."

I blinked repeatedly.

"What?" I asked, there was a bitter taste in my mouth as that word—which would either make me or break me—left my lips.

Sasuke sighed, as if I were stupid, "Hikari, I'm breaking up with you."

I opened my mouth, then paused, closed it, took a deep breath and nodded, smiling, "Okay."

"...Okay?"

"Yeah, okay," I nodded, as if _he_ were the stupid one, I turned my back on him and I went straight to my apartment.

 _"Ari, I love you."_

 _"You're so adorable, Ari."_

 _"You're so easy to tease."_

 _"You know I'm just joking right? You're never going to get rid of me."_

I had come to the ultimate conclusion.

Naruto and Sasuke were pranking me.

So I waited for the phone call.

I waited for, " _I lost a bet with that Dobe. God, I'm never going to bet on anything with that idiot again, I can't believe that out of all the things he could've made me do, he made me do that prank and on our_ _ **anniversary**_ _," he'd say, then sigh, look at me, and smile slightly, "happy sixth anniversary, doll._ "

I waited to tell him that I knew it was a prank.

I waited so I could laugh at him, and his failed attempt to get a reaction out of me.

I waited so I could shove it in Naruto's face that his pranks were getting old and I was starting to pick up on them.

I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And _waited_.

And finally, the doorbell rang.

Instantly, a smile made its way onto my face.

I leapt off my bed, bounding down the halls and yanked the door open.

"You're so stupid, you actually thought you could- oh." I took a step back.

Itachi.

And Shisui...with a few tubs of ice cream...and other things.

"Hey, Ari," Itachi smiled, I swear I saw confusion and bewilderment flicker across both his and Shisui's faces.

I opened the door wider for them, "Come on in," I smiled warmly. "What's the occasion?"

Itachi shrugged off his jacket, all the while staring weirdly at me as Shisui disappeared into the kitchen, before returning with one tub of Oreo ice cream, Betty Crocker chocolate frosting, plastic spoons and Hershey's chocolate syrup.

Shisui stared at me, brows raised, "He didn't...break up with...you? Cause I paid like fifty bucks for the emergency ice cream _alone_ , which I _could_ have used for fifty burgers...Ari, I don't get it, what's happening?"

And then, right there, I was hit by a bullet train.

"He-" I stopped. "He wasn't pranking me?"

Itachi shook his head, frowning slightly, "No, Ari, he wasn't."

I took shaky steps towards my sofa, sitting down on it as if it were to break underneath me.

"I see."

Six years- _no_.

Two thousand, one hundred and ninety days.

Two thousand, one hundred and ninety days of love, fights, tears, making up, laughs, promises of _forever_ , arguments, bickering and then?

And then, ending.

I burst into tears.

Two thousand, one hundred and ninety days of loving him, no, I had loved him _long_ before that, and so had he, it had only been two thousand, one hundred and ninety days since he had asked me out.

My heart ached, my stomach churned, tears rolled down my cheeks, cold.

 _Hot tears spilled down my cheeks_.

They lied.

My tears were cold, as cold as the winter air that pricked my skin, but this winter air, I did not like it.

The sobs that escaped my lips were sad, broken, hurt, damaged beyond repair.

How on Earth was I ever going to get out of that?

Itachi didn't say anything, just hugged me as I cried.

Shisui whispered reassurances that everything would be okay.

I wanted to believe him, _God_ , I _wanted_ to.

But all I heard was Sasuke's voice.

" _You're never going to get rid of me, we're going to be together forever, alright? The only way for you to get rid of me would be to break up with me, which will never happen._ "

Forever was over.

The birds were dead.

The sky was black.

My life was hell.

`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`

 **A/N:** Normally, I'd write the entire story out and then post it but I decided to make this a long multi-chapter which I've never done before, so yeah it might be kind of...messed up and I might not even update for a while because I'm not even halfway through chapter two so yeah it's looking kind of hopeless right now, but maybe this'll be different.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** I'm not very happy with this chapter but I figured I'd share it anyways since I have nothing else for it.

`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`

Forever is infinite, it's been going on for millions of years and sometimes, some promises of forever ring true.

Sometimes, life is a fairytale.

And other times it's not.

Other times, life is a reality where forever doesn't exist, where broken hearts are the real deal and lasting until you're twenty with the same girlfriend since eighteen is the epitome of faithfulness.

Other times, forever isn't really infinite, other times, forever is a couple of months.

My forever lasted five years, three hundred and sixty four days, give or take a few hours.

I don't remember much, because I'm told that we often forget the things that brought us pain, bury it into the corner of our minds where we might never remember it again, and I'm thinking that's true because I don't remember a lot from that year.

I remember crying for weeks afterwards at the mere _mention_ of his name, to that, I silently forbid anyone I hung out with to talk about him.

I remember seeing him everywhere in my apartment, just replayed memories, when I walked past the couch I'd see him sitting there, looking up at me with that small smile of his, arms outstretched as if I would jump into his embrace, I got a new apartment and sold all of my old furniture to furnish it.

I couldn't throw away the things he gave me, I kept them under my new bed and, over time, I forgot about it, about him, and about us.

I use that term very loosely, like how you "forgot" to clean the dishes that one time, or how you "forgot" the hangout with that one person you hated.

But, there is one conversation I remember from that year, it's very clear in my mind. It's the type of conversation that follows you to your grave.

"You've only moved on if you can look him in the eyes and still tell yourself that he's not what you want," my therapist said in our last session, three months prior to That Day, three months until it had been a year since he had broken up with me, three months until our seventh anniversary.

"I can," I told her, genuinely believing I could. "And I will, if I see him again."

My therapist—Shizune was her name—said with a shake of her head, "It's too _soon_ to be making decisions like that, Hikari."

"If I need you, I'll know where to find you again," I said, firm and confident. "Thank you for _everything_ that you've done for me, but, like you said, it's time for me to go on my own."

"Too soon," was all I heard before the door shut behind me.

I remember telling Itachi and Shisui—they had both become my closest friends—about it, I remember the celebration which was three tubs of ice cream, brownies and a marathon of horror movies that left us sleepless—Itachi excluded, I distinctly remember this because he slept like a log while Shisui and I jumped at every sound that was made and Itachi still makes fun of us because when me or Shisui went to the bathroom, the other would have to be standing outside and we promised we wouldn't tell anyone but somehow Itachi found out and we're probably going to spend the rest of our lives with Itachi constantly teasing us.

I don't remember much from the three months that followed except I got in touch with my old friends, Ino, Sakura, TenTen and Hinata, we hung out as often as we could but Sakura often bailed out because she worked at the hospital, or that's just what she said, the others didn't really talk about it and I believed Sakura so I didn't really think I had any reason to ask, besides, if she didn't want to hang out with us, then who was I to go sniffing around into business that wasn't my own?

But then, it happened and I remember some of it like it happened a few minutes ago, how could I forget something like that?

It started off like any ordinary day, I got out of bed at seven in the morning to take my morning jog, I got back an hour later, took my shower, ate breakfast and lounged around because I had nothing to do and there was no work to be done because it was a Saturday and my schedule was completely empty because Itachi bailed out on me 'cause work was getting hard for him and Shisui didn't come because he had to go visit his grandma with his mom and dad and would be returning from the trip later that evening, I then got a phone call at around 12:30—the peak of my boredom.

So, _obviously,_ I answered it.

"Are you free right now?" was the first thing Sakura asked me, I was surprised that she was awake on a Saturday or any free day that she had, she usually slept in because of her night shifts at the hospital that she said she'd been taking on lately.

"Yeah," I answered boredly, examining my nails. "Why?"

"Well, I-uhm, I'm having a luncheon, you up for it?"

"Right now?"

"Ari, it's 12, so yes, now."

"What the hell, Sakura," I muttered under my breath. "Why didn't you tell me this yesterday or something?"

"I'm not exactly good with the planning stuff," she said sheepishly. "Don't judge me."

"Well, I'll see you at your house...?"

"Yep! Cya!" and the line went dead.

I wanted to call her back and ask who was going to be there but I trusted her not to drag me into a snake pit.

So, I got there maybe fifteen minutes later, I was late, of course, but I knew no one would care.

"Ari, we were waiting for you!" a woman I hadn't seen in nearly a year hugged me tightly. "It's been so long, darling!"

I should have known something was wrong.

"Hi, Mikoto," I answered, confused as I hugged her back, she pulled back to get a good look at me, smiling that dazzling smile of hers that I always secretly wished I would be able to get when I, too, turned forty. "How are you?"

"I'm doing great, honey, what about you?" she asked me as she dragged me to her table...with Fugaku...and Itachi...and Shisui, the latter two weren't supposed to be there, all three of them looked unhappy but I knew Fugaku always looked like that.

"Fine," I let out. "Just fine."

I was sat in between Itachi and Shisui and honestly I didn't mind it one bit.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked them. "Aren't you supposed to be visiting your grandma?"

"Oh, no," he shook his head as if I were stupid. "It was put off, Sakura invited us all yesterday, so."

"Why, when did she invite you?" Itachi asked me.

"This morning," I leaned back into my seat. "Actually, twenty minutes ago she called me."

"Really? Naruto mentioned that he got invited the day before yesterday, hmm, maybe she forgot?" Shisui wondered aloud.

I shrugged, "It's anyone's guess at this point."

Sakura stood up, smiling brightly, "Now that everyone is here," she began after two people I have never before seen in my entire life walked into the room, I suspected they were her coworkers. "We have a _wonderful_ announcement to make!"

"Who's we?" I heard Shisui mutter under his breath, sparing me a glance as if I would know, I shook my head.

"I only figured out this was happening twenty minutes ago."

But then, he stood up and I didn't really think or even consider the idea that he would be here.

He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her just a little bit closer to him.

His next words, I didn't hear.

Just, 'dating' and 'for six months' which both came not very close to each other but I understood.

I remember repeating to myself the silent mantra as I managed to smile and clap.

 _Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry._

I saw his face, that small smile that would have been directed to me, had the events of one year ago not occurred, I heard his laugh, and saw the way he looked at her, I saw the way he held her close, I saw the way they looked at each other and then, I saw Hikari and Sasuke.

I saw the way he held her, the way that he looked at her when he thought she wouldn't notice, I saw the laugh that he gave when she cracked a stupid joke just to break the ice, I saw the kiss that was pressed to her temple and the way she smiled while talking to someone else, I saw the way they talked to each other and I remembered, suddenly, Naruto's voice, remarking the way they looked when they did.

" _You guys look like you're talking shit about someone_."

I saw her laugh, I saw him smile, I saw a future filled with so, _so much_ promise.

But then, I remembered.

" _I'm breaking up with you, Hikari_."

I saw that future shatter like glass.

I saw myself, with tear stained cheeks, trying to contain my own sobbing as I mourned the loss of a person who was still alive.

And then, all at once, I felt it.

I felt heartache, betrayal, rage, sadness, resignation, longing and horror.

But somehow, in the midst of this dark, dark abyss, I heard the resounding cheers of the people around me as I willed myself not to cry because he was happy and she was happy and I wasn't supposed to care.

I wasn't supposed to care.

But I did care.

I cared enough to try my hardest not to let myself cry, I tried so hard so I could keep smiling and be happy for them if not for myself, I excused myself once the cheering died down so it wouldn't look like I had a problem with them, I kept up my smile until I was on the balcony upstairs where I knew no one would find me.

I tried so hard to keep smiling, to convince myself that he didn't matter anymore, but I knew he did, I knew he mattered.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I pressed my hand to my mouth, trying to quiet down my sobbing as I choked on my own tears.

Sasuke and Sakura.

It tasted bitter on my own mouth and I wanted to throw up at the image of them together.

 _Don't be so pathetic_ , I remember telling myself, _he's not yours anymore_.

But he was, one day, what felt like _years_ before, he was mine, one day he looked at me and he didn't want to leave.

" _I'm serious_ ," he said to me after a fight. " _If my life before you is any indication to how life without you is, then I don't want it._ "

 _Oh, Sasuke, tell me, when did you wake up and start wanting that life before me_?

"What are you doing up here?" Naruto asked, collapsing onto the chair behind me.

I shrugged, wiping away my tears, "Just thinking."

"Thinking is bad," he said to me. "Thinking makes you realize just how fucked up everything really is."

I chuckled dryly, "In this stage of life, you don't need thinking to realize that."

"It's been a year," he sighed. "And I know there's no set date to getting over anything but, don't you think it's about time you at least tried?"

"What makes you think I'm not trying?" I asked bitterly. "Nobody wants to feel like this."

"Ari," I could almost see him rolling his eyes. "If I know you at all you probably didn't throw away anything he gave you, and you probably moved out of your apartment just so you wouldn't see him and you also probably "forgot" about him."

I crossed my arms, huffing like a little child but I felt ashamed that I was so _easy_ to predict.

"Yup, that's exactly what you did," he chuckled. "Ari, it's not moving on unless you can see him there in your apartment and still walk past him like he doesn't matter, it's only moving on when you can dump the stuff he gave you into the trashcan and not think twice about it because it's over and you're not supposed to care anymore."

"I'm not supposed to care," I said, wiping away even more tears and that thick voice of mine sold me out. "But I do."

Naruto came to sit beside me, wrapping an arm over my shoulder and I'll admit it.

I cried.

I cried really hard because it finally smacked me upside the head with a sledgehammer.

I didn't move on.

I thought I did, but I didn't.

It's easy to think you did when you can't see him anywhere, it's easy to think you can look him in the eyes and say, "I don't want you anymore," when he isn't there.

But Sasuke was there and the second I saw him those words flew out the window and all I wanted to do was hug him and laugh it off like everything that happened this year was a big fat joke, but we're not together anymore and I can't talk to him.

"Sasuke is an asshole," I mumbled through my tears. "He's such a big fucking asshole for doing this to me."

"I know, I know," Naruto rubbed my back. "He sucks, doesn't he?"

"He does," I agreed and I felt satisfied with cussing him out behind his back.

I _liked_ doing it.

He deserved it anyways and that rid me of any guilt I may have had.

Six _years_.

It made my blood _boil_ , just _thinking_ about it.

I wasted two thousand, one hundred and ninety days on that fuckfaced asshole.

I was fifteen when he first asked me out and I was twenty-one when he left me.

I wasted _so much_ on him, I wasted my time, my money, my tears, my joy, my youth and, what angered me the most of all, I gave him my heart.

And he dropped it.

Just like I always secretly wished he wouldn't, just like he promised he _never_ would.

It made me want to punch something—preferably his face.

I _trusted_ him.

But it wasn't enough.

"I was wondering when I'd see you again," Shizune said, raising her brows in a way that said _'I told you so._ ' "What happened this time?"

"Well," I began, folding my hands and looking up at her. "My ex-boyfriend is dating my best friend. For six months. Behind my back."

"And what do you think about this?"

"I'm not happy with it," I said as if we were talking about the news. "Like seriously, my best friend? Did he really have to go there?"

"Which best friend is this?"

"Sakura."

"Oh," she nodded. "But she did always like him, didn't she?"

"But he didn't like her for as long as I knew him, he couldn't stand her," I said bitterly. "I don't know what changed."

"They grew up, maybe?"

"Grew up in six months? Even towards the very end, he didn't like her."

"Times change, and people do too."

"Oh, don't remind me," I sighed.

" _If my life before you is any indication to how life without you is, then I don't want it._ "

"I know that people can change."


	3. Chapter 3

There was a type of anger that I felt afterwards, mixed with betrayal and sadness.

I was bitter and angry and let's just say those two weren't a good mix.

"You can't move on," Shizune said. "Do you want to know why?"

I looked at her skeptically, "Yes."

"Because you don't know why he left you. You left before he could explain and by the time your two friends came along, you couldn't conjure up the nerve to look at him, let alone talk to him."

"What does moving on have to do with me knowing why he left?"

"Because you already have someone to blame," she said simply. "Now you need someone you can forgive, you don't know who that someone is, you don't know if you should forgive yourself for holding on this long or if you should forgive him for making you this way."

"So you're saying I barge into his apartment after a year and ask why he left?"

"Yes," Shizune nodded. "Just, consider it, Hikari, if you can find some other way to move on, then, by all means, but just knowing _why_ will help you."

Once she pushed that thought into my head, I couldn't get it out.

She wanted me to look at him after so long and ask him why.

She wanted me to talk to him when he'd moved on and I still hadn't.

How pathetic would I be? One year and I was exactly where he left me.

But I didn't want to be.

I wanted to be able to look at him and smile and wish them _both_ the best of luck, I wanted to be able to look somewhere and not see a memory that has long since passed, I wanted to be able to go day by day and not think about him.

I _w_ _anted_ to move on but I didn't know _how_.

"Hold up," Shisui looked at me as if I were insane. "She wants _you_ to _w_ _hat_?"

"She wants me to go talk to him," I repeated. "She wants me to ask him why."

"Well," Itachi shrugged hesitantly. "Maybe...it would help?"

"Maybe," and I left it at that.

I considered the idea that I could go.

I could do it, couldn't I?

Just very quickly ask him at the door and then politely say thank you and leave.

It seemed easy enough but I knew actually doing it would be far from easy.

There were so many things that could go wrong, I could run into Sakura, Sasuke wouldn't want to see me, or he just wouldn't care and maybe he'd even mock me or something, heck, he could slam the door in my face the second he opened it, and what if he hated me? Wait.

Why _would_ he hate me?

He had no reason to, if anything, I should've been the one hating him.

But talking to him scared me more than seeing him.

But I didn't have a choice, I wanted to know why.

I could've asked someone else but frankly I didn't want anyone knowing I still thought about it.

Well, anyone besides Itachi and Shisui.

My stomach churned at the thought of seeing him, and not the sweet butterfly I'm-schoolgirl-crushing-on-him type of churning, I mean I was actually _afraid_ of seeing him.

At that point, having Fugaku stare at me with that glare of his was more preferable than being in the same building as Sasuke.

But I did it once, didn't I? I could do it again, except, this time I would actually be speaking to him.

Something told me I was far from ready.

For two weeks, I couldn't bare the thought of speaking to him, I tried visiting him, and by that I mean I was barely out the door before I came back in and decided that maybe a little more time would do me good, maybe next time, I would actually visit him.

I thought about Shizune and how maybe she was right, maybe knowing would help me get better, maybe being able to have someone to forgive would help me along, besides, if he didn't want to see me, I tried at the very least.

For the next three days, I was a ball of nerves as I considered the thought of the idea that maybe, just maybe, knowing why would be better for me.

Maybe it was exactly what I needed.

Shizune was right before and she'd probably dealt with a million girls like me so why would my case be any different? Maybe listening to her would be good.

The next four days after that, I practiced what I would say, how the conversation would go, how I could give off the air that I was fine, how, to the best of my knowledge of him, he would talk to me. I couldn't eat most days, my stomach churned and most nights were sleepless and were instead filled with watching horror movies in the hopes that it would distract me from it.

Needless to say, it didn't.

"You're actually going to go?" Shisui looked at me skeptically. "But why?"

"I want to know," I said simply. "I _n_ _eed_ to."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yeah, I am."

Shisui left it at that and Itachi didn't say a word except offer a few words of praise and encouragement which I'll admit helped me a little.

Seeing Sasuke again, the prospect of it, it was terrifying, I was afraid of all the things that could go wrong, of all the things I could say wrong, of all the things he could do, of the reason he would give.

But I got myself together.

It was simple, I went through the motions of every normal day and at around 2 PM, I decided to get to it.

 _The sooner I finish it off_ , I remember telling myself, _the better it'll be_.

I repeated it to myself as I drove to his apartment building with shaking hands.

I repeated it as I got into the elevator to the fifteenth floor, all the way down the hall and stopped at the black oak door because I hadn't seen that apartment building in a year and the fact that he was there, inside, doing God knows what, I just didn't know what to do.

"... _I know there's no set date to getting over anything but, don't you think it's about time you at least tried?_ "

" _I've been thinking about us for a long, long time_..."

The doorbell felt cold under my shaking fingertips and my feet were rooted to the ground despite the fact that I wanted to run.

" _We're not working out_."

 _Why_?

I heard the footsteps which sounded a lot louder than they should have.

The door opened.

" _I'm breaking up with you, Hikari_."

 _Why?_

"Hikari?"

I inhaled and exhaled calmly, looking up to see him.

"Sasuke," every single word I had practiced just flew out the window and I was left with the simple phrase that had been ingrained into my head. "I need to talk to you."

He blinked repeatedly before nodding, inviting me in without a word.

"Tea?" he offered as I sat down, folding my hands onto my lap.

I nodded, smiling politely, "Yes, please."

It shocked me how calm I was, how well he was taking it.

My stomach was churning as I looked around, still the same, he hadn't changed anything.

Why couldn't I be like him?

Why couldn't I just get over it?

 _Because you don't know why_.

"So," Sasuke looked at me curiously, the Jasmine tea calmed me somewhat. "What's up?"

My eyes glanced from the cup of tea in my hands, to him.

My thoughts were a mess between him remembering that my favorite was Jasmine and trying to remember what to say to him.

"Can you..." I paused, shaking my head. "Can you tell me why?"

Sasuke looked at me for second, as if he didn't know what my question implied before it hit him.

He took his time in responding, almost like he didn't know how to.

And suddenly, I felt stupid for bringing this back up after so long, when he _thought_ I had moved on and when he _had_ moved on, but I needed to know why, it killed me to be there but I needed a reason and a reason was something he had that no one else did and it occurred to me that he knew I couldn't ask anyone else, he knew I would come back one day, be it one year or twenty-

"Can I be brutally honest with you, Hikari?"

 _I would come back and ask him why._

"Well, it's what I came here for," I shrugged and managed a smile.

And he smiled at me, for just a second, he smiled.

"I felt like," he paused, trying to figure out how to put his thoughts into words. "I felt like we weren't working out, you know?" but then he backtracked as it occurred to him how I could have translated it. "Don't get me wrong, those were the best six years of my life but I just wanted something else..."

Sasuke struggled with the words, but I understood well enough.

"I wasn't what you were looking for anymore?" I suggested and shocked myself when I didn't feel sadness, just a sense of...nothing as I looked at him with a hurting heart because yes, I understood, but it hurt because after six years I just wasn't what he wanted anymore. But I still smiled, because I would always understand him and he looked at me like he knew it.

Sasuke offered lunch afterwards.

By offered I mean he went into the kitchen and said he was making lunch and would take it as a personal offense if I left.

I only stayed because he said he made brownies.

I think I should mention that Sasuke made very _good_ brownies.

Strangely, we had a lot to talk about, a lot to catch up on, I found myself talking about things that didn't even matter like that visit to the mailbox that morning and how the grasshopper chased me from the entrance to the door of the elevator and how I screamed until my throat felt raw, I told him about how Shisui ate all the ice cream and had the gall not to restock it before he left and how on my way back home I should stop by the grocery store to restock it myself.

Sasuke told me _everything,_ every single little thing that came to mind he told me, he told me about how Naruto ditched him the day before to spend the day with Hinata and Sasuke had to watch movies all by himself, then he talked about Sakura ditching him for her hospital shifts and me coming over that day was perfect timing, then continued to talk about tomatoes and how getting his hands on _good_ tomatoes was getting hard.

We had so much to tell each other that we'd speak over each other because some detail would occur to us and we just had to share it.

Talking to Sasuke was nice because I could tell him anything knowing that he wouldn't judge me for it and I'm pretty sure the feeling was mutual.

I felt like maybe we could be friends again, maybe Sakura and Sasuke dating wasn't a bad thing, maybe one day I wouldn't have to think about him and tear up at the memory of something we used to do or talk about, maybe one day I'd be able to breathe without the churning in my stomach from the knowledge that he was out there and happy and I was still so far from it.

"Hey, Ari?" Sasuke called as I was about to enter the elevator.

I turned, "Yeah?"

"I'm happy you came back," he said with a smile that brought up so many memories.

I smiled, "I'm happy too."

Maybe, just maybe, I could be okay again.

"I did it," I told Shizune. "I asked him."

"And what did he say?"

I smiled, wiping away a few tears, "I wasn't what he was looking for anymore."

"How do you feel?"

"Like," I paused, inhaling deeply. "Like maybe he wasn't what I was looking for either."

I shrugged at my own response.

" _Don't get me wrong, those were the best six years of my life..."_

"Maybe I needed to see that and he didn't know how else to show me," I sighed, leaning back into the plush seat. "Maybe it's better this way."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to pick up the pieces," the words tumbled out of my mouth before I could comprehend them. "And I'm going to move on."

One year, and two months.

Four hundred and twenty five days of heartbreak, tears, misery, pain, anguish, therapy sessions, hurt, betrayal, confusion, broken promises, and finally, peace.

It took me a while, a really, really long while, but, I did it.

The birds started to chirp.

The sky was bright and blue.

My life was just fine.

`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`

 **A/N:** This may or may not be the last update, haven't figured it out yet.


	4. Chapter 4

"Do we really have to do this?" Shisui whined as he scrubbed at a dark spot on the side of the oven.

"Yes," I said with a huff, scraping at the gum on the kitchen floor with a knife. "Yes, we do have to do this."

"But we could just hire a-"

"No."

Shisui sighed, "You really suck, you know."

"I know. And you know what else I know? The fact that you're not allowed to eat gum in this apartment anymore."

"How do you even know that's mine?"

"Because."

"Because what?"

"Because because," I said childishly.

Shisui rolled his eyes as if I were the stupidest person to ever be in his presence, "I can't believe I live in the same zip code as you."

"I can't believe you live in the same planet as me," I retorted, picking up the pieces of gum and throwing it into the trash can. Hefting myself up to my feet, I admire our handiwork. "See, isn't the kitchen all pretty?"

"At the cost of my back," he complained, "now I'm all sore."

"Grandma," I muttered under my breath.

"I heard that," he grumbled as I wrapped an arm around his neck and pecked his cheek.

"But really," I said with a smile, "when was the last time you actually did something useful?"

"I restocked the ice cream yesterday I don't know why I was coerced into doing this."

"Oh, quit your whining," I shoved his shoulder. "You're already doing it and you're almost done."

"I hate you," he muttered.

"I love you too, you little shit," I said, then quickly escaped the kitchen before he decided to hurl some soap water at me.

He was right though, at the cost of the entire house being all clean and pretty, my back was killing me.

Thankfully, the only thing left was our room and I had cleaned most of it the day before.

All that was left was the scrubbing of the floor and any other surface that needed cleaning and since I knew Shisui was gonna take a 'little' break that _somehow_ got him lost in the living room and _somehow_ got him to watch a marathon of The Simpsons, I decided to start on my own.

The bed was already made, the mirrors and any glass surfaces were sparkling, so I went back down and got a broom and this time Shisui actually did hurl soap water at me.

"You're not getting sex for a week!" I hissed at him as I retreated from the kitchen like a vampire from sunlight, the front of my shirt was completely soaked, I still have no idea how he could even fit that much water in his hands.

Asshole was laughing at me so hard he had tears going down his cheeks, "Whatever you say, Ari."

I glowered at him and willed his head to spontaneously combust. But I'm me, so most things just don't go my way, it's a tragic truth, but a truth all the same.

And after trying to burn a hole in his head for ten minutes, I just gave up and went back upstairs, all the while muttering obscenities at him under my breath. I continued to mutter obscenities at him while I swept the floor and only stopped when I found a box under the bed.

I pulled it out from under the bed, brows furrowed into a straight line when I saw a note taped onto the lid.

 _DO NOT OPEN._

Clearly my own handwriting, I wiped my hand across the surface and immediately started to sneeze and cough from the amount of dust that was on it.

That shit was old, but I was going to open it anyway because curiosity would have killed me if I didn't. So I got around to pulling the tape off the box so I could.

I half expected to find a portal to an alternate universe, or some key words to summon my demon or guardian angel so I could dump a bucket of shit on Shisui without having him trying to hug me or run around the house staining everything.

Finally I pulled off the last strip of tape from the lid that kept it shut all these years.

I pulled off the lid, there was not a single particle of dust inside, everything was just as...

Just as I put it in four years ago, when I first got my heart broken, when I first cried so hard I couldn't breathe, when I first begged whoever was listening to bring him back to me, and of course, when he never came back.

Still, a small smile bloomed on my face as I picked up a picture of Sasuke and I, he was completely drunk and planted a big fat sloppy kiss on my cheek and he was grinning from ear to ear while he was doing it, I was laughing so hard. This would be the first and only time Sasuke ever got drunk, and we were celebrating the end of high school. Naruto was the one who snapped the picture, I think.

I set it down beside me, and picked up the panda that was taking up most of the space and cramping everything else. Sasuke won me this panda at the annual Konoha festival. He had managed to keep it behind his back without me seeing it even though I still remember the amount of times I tried to look behind his back. To his credit, he had kept me busy until midnight, when the fireworks started going off and he had given it to me and our first kiss happened right there, on the cliff overlooking the city, and I was fifteen, and he tasted like coffee and the cotton candy I shoved down his throat when I couldn't finish it myself and I didn't want to throw it away.

The next is a pressed flower crown of blue brunneras and red roses in a ziploc bag.

And in that second, I saw Hikari and Sasuke.

I saw them there in the little garden behind his house that they had been to so many times, I saw the flower crown on her head and the one she was weaving for him despite his countless protests, the one he wore despite his countless protests, I saw him tickling her sides until she couldn't breathe anymore and I saw the smile that she would wear for days afterwards whenever she remembered it. I saw the way he smiled at her and I saw the way she giggled when Naruto would say that he looked like a lovestruck puppy and that he'd vehemently deny any recollection of it happening whenever she'd tease him about it. I saw Sasuke, and the first time he told her he loved her, I saw the way she let out a squeak as she turned to look at him and the way she laughed while repeating it back to him, I saw Hikari and the happiest day of her life, I saw Hikari and the way she giggled, _years_ afterwards, as she remembered that day.

It was a sweet memory, making me smile so hard my face damn near broke, and in that second, I realized something important.

It's okay to have nice memories with someone who has moved on. It's okay to love certain memories even though the person you made them with is either no longer around or no longer in the picture the way they were when you made them. Sometimes memories are all we have, and sometimes that's enough.

I put the panda back in the box, and the picture, and the flower crown. I got to my feet and picked up the box.

Shisui, as predicted, was watching the Simpsons, eating ice cream out of the tub. He raised a brow when he saw me with the box on my hip, "What's that?"

"A box full of some stuff," I said with a shrug, pulling open the front door.

"Oh, by the way," he craned his neck to see me, "Can you get the mail, too? It should have come by now."

"Sure."

I dumped the box into the trash chute and made my way down to the lobby and took out the mail. I rifled through it as I got into the elevator again. Most of it was the bills, some coupons and shit, and one pink letter decorated with cherry blossoms. I rolled my eyes at how primeval Sakura is, she always sends letters instead of calling. For all she knew, I don't check my inbox for weeks, hell, maybe even years, her faith is touching, though.

Still I open it, and as I read through it, a grin breaks out across my face and another important thing occurs to me.

 _hiakri o my god listn listen ok saske just prposed holy fuck help me pliz call me as soon as u can we ned to talk cn u be my maid of honor i luv u_

Sometimes we have to get rid of the old to begin again with the new.

`.`.`.`.`.`.`.`

In honor of Alba, who put the idea that Shisui and Hikari should be together and since then it has not stopped nagging me until I came up with this.


End file.
